


as no one else is, as no one else will ever be

by cheriper



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Angst, Angst for centuries, Angst for days, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Grisha Trilogy - Freeform, High Fantasy, SasuSaku - Freeform, sasusaku au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:42:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25827613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheriper/pseuds/cheriper
Summary: In every lifetime she has lived, the fears and anxiety were constant emotions humming beneath her skin. And maybe, in this lifetime, there can be a life more than running away.Maybe in this lifetime, there could be a chance.Or, SasuSaku set in Leigh Bardugo's Grisha Trilogy
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke
Comments: 3
Kudos: 40





	as no one else is, as no one else will ever be

> _Love leaves us like this flowing stream  
>  Love flows away  
>  How slow life is and mild  
>  And oh how hope can suddenly run wild  
>  May night come and the hours ring_  
>  _The days go by and I remain_  
>  \- **Guillaume Apollinaire,** Le Pont Mirabeau  
>  (request by [white-plum](http://white-plum.tumblr.com/))

**_fifth rebirth : change is coming_ **

The mountains of the Fire Country have changed so little in the last time she was here, even if the last time she was here was several lifetimes - _decades? centuries? she’s not entirely sure_ \- ago. The evergreens still stood tall and proud; the leaves still sway against the wind in the same dance as they did every lifetime ago; the moss are still damp and ever present everywhere - especially in her hunter boots.

And she is still running away from the Darkling.

Foresee is a very rare talent. In every generation, there is only one Foresee born. A rebirth is even rarer, as it was only given once in every five generation.

It is her fifth rebirth, and like the past rebirths, she was gifted with the talent of Foresee. But perhaps the word _gift_ is too positive. Foresee is a curse, for wherever she goes, she would always see visions of the immediate future. And with her rebirths, her talent only gets broader, for she also remembers the Past - the lives she had lived. She remembers it all, in bits and pieces until they become a whole clear picture.

And when she finally remembers, she had no choice but to continue to live with whom she is and what she have done, accepting the decisions of her past lives. Live and die, one never-ending cycle of hate—towards _him_ and herself. Always hand in hand. Together.

And the Darkling, the one who started it all, will always live no matter how many generations had passed.

The Darkling was once a prince gifted with a power no one else had before him. He is gray clouds and the ominous skies, until one day his body could no longer house his greed and malice, escaping his form and stretching until darkness covered the lands of the people who dared go against him. He was once a man, with a soul and a heart, until he fell to his folly.

She has been travelling for days on end now, since the last piece of her memory came back. The last is always the most crucial, the most difficult to live with. But in knowing the last piece of the puzzle, the hesitations were cleared away.

In every lifetime she has lived, the fears and anxiety were constant emotions humming beneath her skin. And maybe, in this lifetime, there can be a life more than running away.

Maybe in this lifetime, there could be a chance.

~

  1. **_the first birth : when stars align_**



With wide eyes, the cotton farmer’s daughter entered a place where she shouldn’t be.

The tent was as big as they told it was, big as a cathedral dome and filled to the brim with chests and dressers made from mahogany and some wood she couldn’t name, a testament to the unfamiliar opulence. Sakura couldn’t help but wonder how they set up such a garish venue at a war camp. And wasn’t that too excessive?

She entered the tent, along with the two soldiers and the Captain. She trailed after them until they reached the raised dais, where the Darkling sat on his throne seat.

Everybody feared the Darkling. They said even his own family did not trust the power he held, and tried to murder him when he was young to stop the evil inside him. They said he could raise hell on earth, if he so wanted. But she seriously doubts that. All they knew was that the Darkling was the only Amplifier alive. He calls forth every talent a person has, and amplifies its intensity just by touching that person.

And of course, add the fact that the Darkling is also conveniently a _Pyrolki_ \- one who breathes fire - he is almost undefeatable. Almost. Rumors have it that with him in The Fold, the war zone where the Villages of Leaf and Sand were battling over due to their bountiful oil reserves, the victory is within an arm’s reach. And he only needs a Foresee to make everything easier. 

The Darkling didn’t even stir on his seat as they make their way towards him. But when they got nearer, the Darkling settled his eyes on her figure, he sat up straighter, with surprise etched on his face.

The High Priest—Orochimaru was his name, she thought—also startled before he walked towards them, circling around them all the while repeating, “I can’t believe it! It is true! A Foresee and a Rebirth!”

She was not a Foresee! Not even a Rebirth. She would know if she’s one, right? Memories of past lives should be coming into her mind. Flashes of the future should visit her. The day at the Healers’ Tent was nothing but a fluke. She didn’t know that a stray Sand soldier would be exacting revenge, all she knew was the ominous feeling of foreboding everybody feels when something bad is about to happen.

If every such sensation could be chalked up to possessing the talent of Foresee, everyone else should be here in this tent. She is not any more special than the next healer girl.

The Darkling raised a hand, signaling the High Priest to calm his excitement, before he stood up from his seat. He moved slowly towards her, and when he reached her, he placed a hand on her arm. She flinched from the sudden contact, surprised that the hand clamped gently on her arm was warm for such a powerful and allegedly evil man. Cold hands for those who lack the heart, as the elders would whisper.

And then she felt it. There was a rising urge inside her, like the Darkling was calling and her body was aching to respond to his call. Brightness started to cloud her vision, and cleared away slowly, revealing a different setting.

She’s standing in an open clearing, with darkness surrounding them. She could see the wrecks of fighting ships around her, and blood painted on the ground where what little sunlight could be seen. The stench of death hit her all at once, almost forcing her to double over as she tried to swallow the rising bile.

When Sakura have finally attuned herself to the vision, she started to recognize the few people that were there with her. She sees the High Priest, agitated and livid, clearly saying something she couldn’t hear. He was yelling at a couple, a woman clearly weak and injured inside the protective embrace of a man, trying to protect her from the High Priest.

It seems inside this vision; all her senses were active, except for hearing. But in this situation, Sakura thought that this lack of hearing is not exactly a disability. It scares her to think what the High Priest could be yelling at the couple.

The world completely darkens, before the smell of white rose and peony hit her with as much force as the stench of death, the difference between the smells jolted her from the vision.

The first thing she sees when she opens her eyes were the Darkling’s pools of endless blank ink, dark like the rich liquid fuel beneath their feet, peering down on her. It took a moment before his smirk registered, and she doesn’t even need to have the talent of Foresee to realize that it only meant something ominous is coming.

“I’ve waited all my life for you, Foresee.” He held her closer, and whispered. “You and I are going to change the world.”

~

**_fifth rebirth : the endgame begins_ **

The forest cleared out to a village of splendor and power - too much power, if she were asked. She slowed down her pace as a guardhouse came into view, a small outpost in peeling red paint. Probably an intended aesthetic tactic thought by the Darkling to dissuade people who wanted in on the opulence of the village from coming in. The Village of Leaf has always been in pristine condition; otherwise is just a sign of incompetence, and the Darkling is all things but incompetent.

A man dressed in all-black attire with a green flak jacket, smoking a blunt stub of cigarette went out to intercept her before she even made it to the outpost.

“You’re approaching the Village of Leaf, young lady,” he drawled, quite aware of the obvious. “Any business?

"Tell the Darkling, Haruno Sakura is done running away.

The guard visibly startled. A standing command must have been placed for them. She wondered if for all her rebirths, a commanded is already printed in the Guard’s Manual about her. The guard quickly turned around before disappearing into a puff of smoke.

She didn’t even need to wait much longer before another smoked puffed out. The silhouette of a tall, regal man outlines, before the outline took shape. Out of the smoke, the Darkling stepped out, livid.

He will always be dangerous, especially when he’s still as beautiful as he ever was.

She couldn’t keep the smile from blooming, sincere with happiness. Because five lifetimes and countless liters of blood spilled, but her heart will always be a fool.

"I’m back, Sasuke-kun.”

~

  1. **_the first birth : stars fall down_**



It was half past midnight, and she was sure that the library on the Main Tower would be deserted by now. The library in the West Tower, however closer it was to her bedchambers, was more than lacking compared to the one on the Main Tower. And lately her trainer, Tsunade, was pushing her to study more and more of the theories revolving Foresee.

Not that it helps in controlling her visions, as wildlings were practically untamable.

She opened one of the big double doors, the hinges creaking loudly in the silence of the night, only to find that inside the library was a small light flickering. She opened the door wider before stepping in, and finding the Darkling was occupying one of the tables.

“Oh. I’m sorry; I thought no one would be awake.” She glanced at him, at the wall behind him, and then around before awkwardly gesturing towards the hallway. “I-I should go, and leave you–”

“No, don’t. Have a seat, if you like.” The Darkling said, without even lifting his head from the book he was reading. It was a thick volume, probably about military strategies and whatnot. She closed the door behind her, and immediately headed towards the shelf where books about talents were shelved.

After picking one book, she decided to sit on one of the mahogany chairs across the Darkling. The proximity between them was unnerving. She has not been physically close to him since the day she was presented to him.

After a few minutes of reading in silence, Sakura has had enough of the quiet. “The visions I’ve been having haven’t showing any signs to be controlled anytime soon.”

The Darkling looked up from his reading material at the sound of her voice, and looked at her.

The thing about him was that he always seemed to focus into her whenever they interact. _Really_ focus on her. Like the world was her, and there was nothing else left besides her. Those eyes are always burning with

intensity, always invoking that warm feeling spreading through her chest. And little by little, she finds herself wondering how she could ever live while he focuses _that_ attention on her? How could she ever live, if he would always look at her like that, making her heart stop?

“Would you tell me about what you see in your visions?”

Her visions, at best, were like grainy images, blurred and static. The only time she could see clearly through her visions was when he amplified her talent. If she could stomach to see disappointment in his face, she would have to tell him that her visions were still wildlings refusing to cooperate

“They’re… Well, they’re always so unclear. But maybe that is because of the darkness. It’s always so dark, and the air always smells so horrible. Sometimes I can smell a hint of oil burning. But I always cannot hear anything.“ 

The Darkling continued to look at her, and she could practically hear the wheels turning in his mind. “Did you recognize the place you were in?” 

“Not really. No, I don’t. It’s too dark. The terrain looks so unfamiliar, too. All I know is that it must be a vast plain. I could not see any mountain. And when you amplified my talent, I could not remember seeing any high landmarks at all. It is always consistently dark.”

He did not look too disappointed, but he did not push the subject either so it was probably good enough for him. He returned his attention to his book, but not for long. Because she had to open her mouth again.

_Open mouth, insert foot._

“Why do they call you the Darkling?” She winced. He could be in the middle of forming the winning military strategy for the war, and she had to break his train of thought for her silly curiosities. 

The Darkling just continued to peruse his book. And when she thought he had ignored her query, he surprised her yet again.

“The clan seer told my parents that I would bring darkness, should I fall.”

“Fall?

“Into madness, probably. The clan seer did not explain.” He shrugged; trying to look as if the fact that he was expected to fall by the very people who should believe in him did not hurt at all.

She recalls the look upon her parents faces before she left their district to be a healer, like they knew she would be back soon, failed and broken. The pain of being expected to fail even when you haven’t started yet is all too familiar.

She still hasn’t made a person for herself. But this man, clearly successful and have gone farther than what was expected of him, still carries this pain with him. She never expected to find something so human in him, and for it to be something she carries within her, too. Somehow, this unexpected similarity ties her to him, and she knows, this is important.

Whenever the Darkling sheds a little of his perfection, a small portion of her draws nearer, unmindful of the danger that he surrounds himself with, and she sinks a little deeper than before.

And though he could not see her smile, she still gave him one - to say _I understand, I believe in you._ “They must be regretting that. I mean, look at where you are now. You are one of the most powerful people in the whole realm! If I were your family, I would be so proud of you.”

She clapped her hand to her mouth. _Moron, why would you say that? Why~?_

And then the strangest thing happened. The upper corners of his mouth lifted, and she was pretty sure that was a smile. In fact, she considered that a smile for a person like the Darkling

“If you were my family, you’d be calling me ‘Sasuke’, not Darkling. I think.” He said the name he was branded in contempt.

His eyes turn to her, and this time he sees the smile on her face. “Sasuke-kun.”

~

**_iii. first birth : made of greed_**

She doesn’t know if he intended his room to be painted black, or if it was to insult all the people who called him Darkling. As she continued to get to know the man more, as she entwined herself more and more to his life, she learns that Sasuke-kun has a dark sense of humor, and a silent, destructive rage.

In time, she continues to learn things about him: his tendency to answer with monosyllabic words, his irritation to people who are a bit slow on the uptake, his love for tomatoes (yes, the man can feel emotions such as love, if only directed to inanimate objects.), his fascination with snakes, his affinity to war novels (as if he hasn’t enough experiences).

They have found an unspoken tradition to meet at the library on the Main Tower. At the back of her mind, she treats them as trysts. Because she couldn’t help to let herself daydream, filling her thoughts with fanciful hoping and longing, even if nothing interesting ever happens. She would always sneak a glance a few seconds too long before returning to her book of choice.

She has been long past on the subject of theories on talent. She could more or less see clearly through her visions, although they still gave her the same single apparition over and over again. Lately, the books she has been reading were all about war strategies and several history books. She would tell herself it is to satiate her own curiosities about the war they are fighting, but really; she could only fool herself so much.

One night, three candle marks after their supper, Sakura spoke up, her eyes darting from Sasuke’s impatient frown over a platoon stations on difficult mountain terrain map to the unturned herbal concoctions research pages in her hands.

“Maybe…”

The hesitation in her voice made his head cock up to the side, a sign that he was listening.

“Maybe if you could find a way to render that land unusable to both our villages, the war could stop.”

He was still unmoving, but he didn’t dismiss her, which was a good thing.

“I mean, Leaf is already flourishing with what we have, excluding what could be an oil industry for us. Our people who live in the area know only a few things about harvesting oil. It would take us years to catch up on Sand’s knowledge about it. I mean, we could do without the strip of land. I mean, that’s just my opinion. I think.”

Her cheeks bloom as she fidgets nervously on her seat. Why did she have to open her big mouth, and dared to suggest such a brazen thing to the Darkling.

“And how, pray tell, do you think we could make that happen?”

She snapped her eyes to his, surprised that he actually sounded sincerely curious to hear her opinions about the matter. She knows his knowledge knows no bounds, and for him to actually want to hear what she has to say was such a great honor for her. Even greater than possessing her talent - which she still think is useless.

“I’ve thought about that, but I can’t seem to think of anything realistic to make it happen.”

And of course, he had picked up on the keyword. “Realistic? What sort of plan were you thinking?”

She hesitated, before she looked down on her book resting on the table. “I’ve been thinking about my visions. What they could mean and why I keep on seeing them. Visions are supposed to be varying, and should only reflect that which would happen in the immediate future.”

She sneaks a glance at him, before she continued. “And I thought, maybe, the vision is what will bring us to an end with this war. Maybe, to end this war, you have to cloak The Fold in darkness, so neither we nor the Sand could venture on them. So we could both have peace.”

Sakura was startled when a hand grips her chin and finds Sasuke lunged at the table, forcing her to look at him. There was that smirk again, the one that boded bad things. “I’ve never heard of a more productive plan than yours. Unrealistic, but maybe that’s what we need to win.”

“I knew you were what I truly need.” Her eyes widened in surprise, but before she could process his words, and overanalyze them, his lips erased all thought in her mind as he claimed hers.

His lips slid over hers, capturing the bottom of her mouth in between his. There is only softness and him - his scent, that wonderful heady scent of Sasuke that always rob her of her faculties. And when she thought nothing could have been better, he slid his tongue into her lower lip, surprising her. She opened her mouth and let him in.

And everything was just him - his scent, his taste. She kissed him like she could never get enough, would never even dream of having enough of him. He tasted of ambition, of victory, his perfection. He tasted like new beginnings, chances and hopes, and a tinge of forever.

She pulled away slightly, breathless, still craving for him. She sought him again, but he drew a finger-breadth away, blowing puffs of air against her mouth in amusement. She wounds her arms around his neck, trying to get closer to him, needing to get closer to him.

And as if he sensed her needs, he gave her tiny kisses on the corners of her mouth, but never enough to satiate her, pulling away when she tried to capture his lips. And when she let out a growl of frustration,something inside him broke, before she drowned at the onslaught of an altogether different, yet divine experience.

At the back of her mind, she could imagine herself tumbling down a dark hole. Her last thoughts were that of ‘danger’, ‘falling’, and ‘end’, but her poor mind could not string a coherent thought until she completely blanked out at Sasuke’s deepening kisses.

~

  1. **_first birth : the world cleaves_**



Darkness surrounded them. There was the smell of burning fuel and flesh, of bodies bleeding and unmoving, of life robbed and squandered.

This was all her bringing. She was the one who gave the idea to the Darkling - a name she hated, but now she thought was so apt for him. He sold his soul to the darkness to wield enough power to raise hell on earth. The Fold was now unusable, for no one could see through the darkness he brought.

An hour ago, they had been hopeful for the end of the war. He ordered his council to join him as they toured the land that the Leaf would occupy when the day ends.

The world now ended, and Leaf would forever be stained with the guilt from the lives lost.

As they reached the middle of The Fold, he ordered the ship, which carried them and the council, to stop and watch as The Fold surrendered itself to Leaf. They all watched as Sand soldiers wept in pain, their bodies being torn apart, with wings that grew out of their backs. Their face elongated into snouts, fangs grew out of their teeth and their minds left their human forms.

Oil started burning, fire consumed every viable wells. As the fire raged, skies grew dark, darker until the only source of light was the fire burning on the wells.

The turned people then started for the ship. They occupied the skies before swooping down on the councilmen one by one. And the cries that rang through the darkness - shrill sounds that haunted the deepest parts of her soul mingled with the stark fear in human cries - she continued to remember this day with their screams. Screams that every men and former men when they called for mercy, to be spared of this cruelty that no one deserved to experience.

She felt around around for Sasuke, who was supposed to be standing beside her, only to find the space empty. She tried to crawl through the ship, tried to dodge the people who were crouching down and those who kept on running to avoid the Sand soldier until she felt something sharp stab through her. Her back arched in pain as what stabbed her pierce through the flesh of her shoulder muscles, and in a blink of an eye she was airborne.

The talons dug deeper into her back as they flew higher into the air. Shrieks tore through her throat. At this altitude, she could see the expanse of the horrors Sasuke has brought to this land. The darkness stretched through the almost the whole of The Fold. He had precisely burned every oil well, rendering everything unusable. At least not until the fire burned out, which won’t happen anytime soon.

One minute she was up in the air, and the next breath she was free falling. Her voice no longer escaped her, only air. She curled into herself, bracing for her end that is not the end - the curse of being a Rebirth - but it didn’t come.

The wind enveloped her, gently placing her down the dirt. When she opened her eyes, she could see the High Priest running towards her, a bloody dagger in his hand. He gripped her arm with his free hand, yanking her up.

“This whole madness is your fault, you vile witch!” His slanted eyes were burning with rage. He slashed the dagger upon her cheek. “The Darkling has freed all these darkness–”

“He did not!” She cut him off, her voice hoarse. Tears were leaking down her face, her red robe - red for the Foresee - in tatters, and slowly darkened by the blood dripping down her cheek. “The Darkling only wanted to give our land peace.”

“Open your eyes, peasant. Is this the peace he gave us?” The High Priest yelled at her. “This is madness!”

_I will bring darkness, should I fall._

“You made him like this!” The High Priest was shaking in fury in front of her. "He wasn’t meant to succumb into this madness! He was supposed to rid us this land, _without binding himself to you!_ ”

She could feel her mouth fall open. “What are you talking about?”

“You are the Rebirth, the clock that will always start. An anomaly and a miracle. No one is meant to live forever, and you are the closest to living endlessly, and that should be enough for the world!”

He paused, his shoulder slumping down, the fight leaving out of his body. When he spoke again, his voice was laced with disappointment. “You are born to save this land, but you have to fall upon his foolishness and sweet poisonous words. You have pushed him into madness.”

_I will bring darkness, should I fall._

_I pushed him into madness._ She thought.

“Listen to this, Haruno Sakura: You are meant to save this realm from this very thing, not save the Darkling. There is no more hope for him.”

The dagger on his hand glinted, before she felt the blossoming of pain on her stomach

“Run away from The Darkling and save this realm. Only you can save this world. _You and I are going to change the world._

The dagger carved into her gut, draining what’s left of her first life away. But before life truly left her, she felt strong arms envelope her. A shout, a scream, of a heart breaking echoed through her ears. _Too late, too late._

**_~_ **

  1. **_first rebirth: fighting the inevitable_**



If she would die today, she would die with a vague feeling of the fleetest feeling of happiness.

The people who had believed in her cause rallied all around her. Under the natural dark skies very near the Fold that they could all see the billowing wisps of dark cloud swayed by the wind outside of the void, legions of Sand people have set up camp, very hopefully in her next lifetime it would grow into a decent size town. That is, if they could hold their own against the army of the Darkling.

This side of the Fold was theirs. And they should hold it with pride and strength, fortify it with their own sense of solidarity. Despite this huge void in their land, they will thrive.

If she would die today–and she knows she will–she would leave the world with hope that the she gave a legacy in this lifetime: a seedling of hope planted in the hearts of the Sand people.

She told herself it wasn’t revenge against the Darkling that moved her to lead the group of resistance.

Guilt. Of wanting things she could never have, of trying to hold that one small eternity of happiness at the expense of these very people she’s helping right now, at the expense of the whole realm.

Her talent, the Foresee, brought her here. She’s long past asking herself why the talent was passed on her. The time spent asking herself the _why_ s cost her countless of souls in suffering.

Her talent also told her that the Darkling would be seeking her out here.

Amidst the chaos of people fighting, Sand people trying to ward off the meddlesome army of the Darkling from throwing them off the lands they rightfully own, the Darkling walked towards her, ignoring the fight all around them.

She had seen this scene in her visions for the past months now. She knew this would happen. And she also knew this would be a short-lived reunion for them.

"You’ve been very productive, my Foresee,” said the Darkling as he stood a few feet away from her.

“They own this side of the Fold. Leave them be here.”

He closed the distance between them, and no matter how Sakura tried to stop it, the world fell away until it was only the two of them. Until the air he breathes danced along her lips.

Th unbidden memories of kisses stolen in dark flashed through her. And before she could quell it, the longing bubbled through her chest until she felt it into the very core of her soul.

“And what would you give in exchange for these people’s temporary respite?”

“I’ve already given everything to you. What more could you want?”

A hand cupped her cheek, drawing her even closer to him. His eyes blazing with barely contained anger. “You haven’t given me anything I wanted.”

“My principles, my values. The lives of these people that I don’t even have the right to give–”

“They are all collateral damage. I just want _you_. I will only need–”

And before she could hear him finish his sentence–She knew this part. Prepared for it, even.–the hiss of an arrow cut through the air. She staggered towards the Darkling, the force of an embedded arrow on her back throwing her off-balance.

There are two more–

And true enough, there are two more thuds along her back, digging deeper through her back and piercing through a lung.

“Give this land to them. _Please_.”

Her vision has gone blurry through her last breaths, so she missed seeing the look of pure agony that crossed through his face. The last thing she had processed was Sasuke’s quiet agreement, and the tightening hold he has on her.

It was all too familiar.

**_~_ **

  1. **_second rebirth : where demons hide_**



It has come to this.

The chapel they were in was starting to cave itself. The spirals carved on the walls now a part of crumbling stones. At the back of her mind, she thought, _Another land for her follies._ But she prayed fervently to her gods that the Darkling should spare the Wave Country.

Her companion, Naruto, was bleeding profusely on the aisle. His left eye half shut already, but he didn’t move from his place. He could move from his place, transfixed by the battle of wills at the altar. 

The Darkling, stronger than the last time she saw him, called forth more shadows within the darkness. These shadows danced like smoke, swaying to the unfelt wind until they slowly take form.

_Volcras._

They start to cry loudly, flying round and round the domed ceiling of the chapel, swooping down into the seats and pews, miraculously missing Naruto who still sat motionlessly upon the aisle of the chapel.

If this were a different universe– if Sakura were born without the Foresee and Rebirth, if Sasuke were born with less malice and evil and ambition, without the darkness plaguing inside him–this would have been a different occasion.

If this were a different universe, she wouldn’t be running away from him; he wouldn’t have to chase her around.

If this were a different universe, his soul would be his own, a strip of land would not be infested of monsters that were people once, the realm still undivided and every mistake would not be her own accountability.

But it wasn’t. 

He had hunted her down for three of her lives – for her talents, for her own, for revenge – she didn’t know anymore. She just knew that to surrender herself to the Darkling, would mean an end for the realm. He would be invincible, with the gift of Foresee and his immortality. He would drive the realm to the ground with his greed and power.

“Why do you keep on fighting the inevitable?” His voice, still the same deep baritone she used to love hearing on cold nights.

“You wouldn’t understand even if I tell you why.” There is an evil smile painted on her face. It’s so out of character, he couldn’t even recognize this person Sakura is trying to channel.

“You should stop pretending to be someone you'e not.” He whispered,. “You are enough as you are. You are formidable and strong, without trying to be someone else.”

Her face fell. “I’m not enough! And I will never be enough! I must save all these people we’ve hurt!”

He could feel her hold tighten on his arm, her call for power inside him strengthened, and it was as if he could feel his own immortality - the one he bought at the price of The Fold - slipping through his skin. Her hands that tried to cleanse scalding souls. like iced water on burning flesh.

“If I should work all my lifetimes, giving all these people hope, I will!”

“And what about you? How about your own happiness?”

“I’ve been happy once.”  
  
Sakura stilled

“But it wasn’t worth it.”

A small, sad smile softened her determined face.

“That trade: My happiness, for all these suffering –”

“The world should suffer.” Growling in anger and despair, The Darkling tried to escape her grasp, as he could feel the shadows devour her “For your sadness.”

“They’ve suffered enough.”

**_~_**

**_vii.fourth rebirth: beskonechnaya t'ma_ **

The Darkling was stopping the chase for her.

The moment the harried straw delivery man shared his _good news_ , Sakura froze. Her heart stopped. She felt coldness seep through her clothes into her very bones. It was summer, one of the hottest they have experienced here in the far-east border lands of Konoha, and everyone was sweating out all the liquids in their bodies harvesting produce, stacking bales of hay, and now, celebrating the news that the Darkling has called off the manhunt for the Foresee.

In her every rebirth, she always tried some ways to help out the people who have suffered through her selfish wants and greed.

(Late at night, when the world fell asleep, trying to chase after a temporary peace in a world hungry for more war, dreams would visit her with the wanting what she’s always trying to bury deep in her soul.

Sometimes, the dreams would give her a taste of her own version of peace. Peace, so sweet and so joyful, her chest expands to fit all the emotions she could mortally hold. It all seemed so real – she could hold him, she could kiss him, she could tell him her longing, and he would look at her like she was the only person in the world. But she would wake up, and reality would remind her of her crusade.

Sometimes, her visions betray her iron-tight control. It would slip snippets of these dreams, and there was only much a person could take. These episodes often send her hiding from the farmers, crouched behind the shadows of barns, her sobs drowned by the cries of horses and chicken.)

The delivery man had left her alone in the middle of the barn, frozen in her thoughts, immobile at this moment in time until a clearing of throat made her turn around.

Tsunade.

It had been four lifetimes, but her mentor still looked as young as ever. Four lifetimes, and Sakura now has some idea that one cannot cheat Time – in life or in looks.

“I never got to ask you how you kept your features young.”

Tsunade just smiled at her. “You’ve always been an inquisitive pupil, Sakura. I do wonder if you’re asking this question for your own curiosity, or do you still want to earn the praises of the Darkling.”

Sakura glared at her mentor. “I don’t know how you’ve kept this very important information for almost four lifetimes, but I’m actually running away from the Darkling.”

Her mentor chuckled. “The youth has always been foolish.”

“What? What are you even doing here?” Sakura turned her back, walked towards the corner of the brn where a pail of water had been waiting. “I never thought you’d ever leave the Darkling’s Little Palace. I thought you were his ally. Whatever.”

Tsunade obviously followed her, her voice coming from behind her as she washed her arms. “Sakura, you have to stop this war.”

“I know. That’s what I’ve been doing.” Sakura turned to face Tsunade, and immediately halted. Sympathy was etched on her mentor’s face, as dread began to fill her belly.

“Go back to the Darkling. It’s the only way to stop this foolish war.”

She shook her head. “That’s not going to happen.”

“This never-ending war just feeds chaos to the evils of the world. Both you and the Darkling are key players in this war, but this is much bigger than you two.”

“No, you don’t understand! Going back to Sasu—The Darkling is not the right thing to do! I should be saving the realm!”

“This war has been dragged on by the Darkling because of you!”

Sakura stilled.

“The Darkling rules over _the realm_. Not just Konoha. The Sand, The Earth, The Wave. He pulls strings all over the realm to continue this war. Do you want to know why he does this? ”

_Me._

“The Darkling could have stopped the war after you died the first time around. But you organized resistance groups in your every lifetime, and he thought that maybe, dragging this war on and on would somehow bring you closer to him.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that there are hundreds of lives sacrificed on the Fold, and I carry them all in me! Not only then, but until this very day. Until The Fold will cease to exist. Those entire livelihoods, all those people who cannot travel into the Fold without spilling blood, are all on my account.” Even to her ears, her excuses sound weak.

“You think waging a war for this long do only burns oil and land? _You are destroying lives!_ There are more people suffering right now in areas stricken by this goddamn war, than those on the Fold!”

For all of her lifetimes, she had dedicated herself to running away from the Darkling, thinking that she could change the conditions of the realm all on her own. Four lifetimes of guilt, of drilling into her head the memories of the Fold – the screams of people turning into volcra, the unbearable heat of burning oil wells, and the never-ending darkness, and in one day, all of these were turned around?

Her hands were clenched tightly against her sides. “I cannot just walk into Konoha, like everything I did in all my lifetimes were nothing.”

With her head bowed, she could not see the sad smile Tsunade threw at her. “We all make mistakes. And we do our best to correct them, no matter how long it takes.”

~

**_fifth rebirth : with good intentions_ **

His bedchamber was different from the one and only time she had been inside. From what used to be a dark room decorated by a few shades of red, this room suited Sasuke better. The walls were painted deep blue, almost black. Sasuke could always insist that black is his color, but the truth is, he would always be the deepest of blue: the right amount of darkness in his regal countenance.

There was a big canopy bed in the left part of the room. A table she knew was carved with the map of the realm sat in the right of the center of the room, few wooden small sculptures representative of enemy men thrown in places across the table, with parchments and ink wells littered everywhere. The orchestrated chaos in this place was a reflection of how Sasuke’s mind works.

However, the very same Sasuke - the same person from her first birth, to every rebirth - kept on his pace along the carpeted floors, clearly agitated. She wonders if that is from the current state of the realm, or if that is from her turning up.

The moment Sasuke arrived at the walls, a mix of anger and shock painted across his face; he immediately seized her wrist before they poofed out of a smoke into his bedchamber.

“What has changed?”

His voice broke the rhythmic dull tapping of his boots against the floor, still the same deep baritone that could melt through any wall around her heart. It just reminded her of how threatening this man could be. He could break through any resistance on her part effortlessly.

“Nothing.” She tried for a humorless smile. It didn’t work. “Everything.”

A light smirk graced his features before he steeled himself again. She could hear him mutter, “Still a smartass.”

“The war is still not dwindling out, isn’t it?” Sakura remarked, sitting straighter from where she was perched on his bed

Sasuke approached the war table, his eyes narrowed. “No. It could have been history by now if you gave yourself to me lifetimes ago.”

Surprisingly, there is no contempt in his voice. Only sadness and longing, resignation resonated that only made her frown.

“The reasons you have then weren’t all pure and noble, as you had led me to believe.”

His eyes, deep pools of oil - the very reason why the realm is at war right now - slid toward hers before he strode before her, cupping her cheek gently. “I need you, then and now. The realm could burn itself down, and I wouldn’t care. I did what I did because I wanted you to be with me.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “To rule over them in fear! You’ve always wanted more of everything, Sasuke-kun. You created The Fold in your greed to acquire everything! You said you needed a Foresee–”

“I did not need a Foresee! The war then was heading for a turn; the Leaf was an inch away from occupying The Fold, and if it weren’t for me, The Fold would still be a war zone smacked right into an oil field. Do you realize how many lives I actually saved?”

Sakura seized his hand. “Saved? The Leaf occupied The Fold, alright. The _volcra_ there could certainly attest to that. You needed a Foresee to tell where the _volcra_ are in the darkness of The Fold. With my power, you are almost omnipotent.”

“With you, I can do anything. Not just with your power. You know that. We are meant for each other.”

_We are meant for each other. Like calls to like. You are brought in this world to be with me; as no one else is, as no one else will be. An echo from a not-so-distant past._

Green eyes widen in recognition, but Sasuke ignored them. “I sold my soul to live endlessly to be with you whenever you will live. And if the price of my soul is a strip of hell in this realm, then so be it. If thousands of people die inside The Fold, and I get to live in every lifetime you have, I will take it.”

Sakura stood up, pushing him away. “And that makes it fine for me? To live my every life knowing people turn into monsters in a strip of land where darkness reigns, for every breathe I take? I will not stand for this, Sasuke-kun!" 

"Being noble isn’t becoming of you, Sakura." 

"I know!” Sakura’s eyes grew even more livid. “I know, Sasuke-kun. I was born a commoner, remember?”

_The reason why we cannot be together then. The reason why you had to sell your soul._

_I was the reason for this corruption_.

Sasuke gripped her arms, pulling her closer to him. “You were born to be with me, commoner or noble. Stop fighting us.”

“There is no us!” Her scream at the end, surprised him that his grasp slackened, hands going to his sides. “Five! Five lifetimes have already passed.”

“Saku-

“If we were really meant to be together,” The sudden, silent words swiftly cut him off. “We would have been together, even once, in those lifetimes, Sasuke.

“Then why are you here?” For the first time, she heard defeat in Sasuke’s voice. His gaze probing at her. “Why come to me, after all these lives you’ve wasted running away from me?”

“All my life—lives—all I have are these visions of the future. And when I dream, I dream of things I have long told myself I couldn’t afford.”

“Happiness.” He answered.

“You.

The Darkling startled. “I wanted to save the realm. I wanted to give every citizen enough bread and meat to eat. I want peace. I want to erase the Fold, to erase the thing that marked our wrong decisions–”

“I wouldn’t.” The Darkling cut through her sentence. “The Fold. I could live with all my decisions, if I get to live with you in all your lifetimes.”

“But–

“I will pay the price again in a heartbeat. I would give you anything you ask of me. I will burn down the whole world, if it meant I could be with you.”

Tears started to form around the corners of her eyes. Somehow, at this fundamental level, everything seemed simple. The world is at their doorstep, chaos and war knocking upon them. But in this room, with five lifetimes full of bad decisions influenced by selfish reasons, they come in full circle.

Sakura smiled despite the tears. “We still have many things to do.”

The Darkling nodded, waited. Sakura stepped closer. “Like, stopping this sham of a war.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “How did you know?”

She took another step closer to him. “Tsunade.”

“That old hag.” He muttered under his breath.

She stopped walking. “Sasuke-kun, we really have many things to do. The realm–”

“—is going to be fine. With you.”

“Us.”

For the first time, after five rebirths, together.

_**End.** _

**Author's Note:**

> Miko-chan told me I should post this here. Granted, she told me that maybe three months ago lol. Anyway, this fic is close to my heart as it had been one of the longest, most grueling thing I had ever written back when I was still active in this fandom haha. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as we did writing it (back in 2013! apparently! god, that was so long ago.) If you went in blind, this fic was heavily inspired by Leigh Bardugo's The Grisha Trilogy. Please check it out if you haven't yet. :)


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